Since the VMA's are still vividly etched on that tiny part of my brain reserved for shit that should immediatly be forgotten, I'll blog about it.
Ms. Lady Gaga... You went from a Nun-in-the-box to a mermaid. I respect your creativity, I think. In an attempt to find the germaneness between the two, I googled the song text. Surely the words will tie it all together... Unfortunately, the song is too new for your devoted Monsters to collage a YouTube video. Alas, I will wait.
Ms. Miley... You, my dear, went from wearing a Chuck E.Cheese costume to a pole dancer. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, you doggie-styled with Beatlejuice. And can I assume you were at a baseball game before you arrived? It's the only place I can think of to get a Fan Finger. I don't even know where to begin with that whole thing. I think Will Smith and his kids pretty much sum it up...
Mr. Justin - Thank you SO MUCH for saving the face of America. Seriously. You brought class to a show that would have gone down in history as Trashity-trash.
My sister watched Justin in awe last night. She all but whispered, "Oh my God, it's all of them." The lights were off, but I'm sure she had tears in her eyes. And then came my question... All of who? Who are they? Oh the shame. To have never seen the SNL Justin/Jimmy video Cock In A Box was tolerable for her, but to not know who these apparent Gods were, unfathomable. So I googled. Well, they can't be THAT famous, I found nothing but plumbing web sites for In-Sink.
I do have one question for Mr. Timberlake. Why was Miss Piggy one of your back up dancers? Did you owe Kermit a huge favor? If so, your debt is paid.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Today I went to the convention center to check out the slow food show. I'm not sure if it was someones idea of a joke, but they were also having a yoga show. The
I REALLY need to talk about Vogua. Not be confused with Vogue, Vogua is vegan/yoga fashion. Women under forty have barber shop haircuts. Women over fifty have long grey hair with no shape or style or cut. The ten years between forty and fifty are spent growing out their hair. And I'm all for natural fabric and fibers. Linen and cotton are great, but linen and cotton dyed with beet juice and algae isn't attractive. especially when you border it with burlap. Burlap should never be worn. ever.
Also, just a tip on hygiene. Go ahead and wear sandals, but for god sakes pedicure your feet. And do I really need to tell you to shave your armpits if you're going to be handing people plates of vegan goodies all day? Really?
I know I need to lose weight, and I know Farmville isn't considered exercise. Lord knows I am just about the last person on earth to give fashion advice, but I just had to get this off my chest. I have to admit, the shake did compel me to dust off my blender, and buy some fresh fruit. So I'm off to whip up a Margarita. Enjoy!