Monday, August 26, 2013

VMA 2013

Since the VMA's are still vividly etched on that tiny part of my brain reserved for shit that should immediatly be forgotten, I'll blog about it.

Ms. Lady Gaga... You went from a Nun-in-the-box to a mermaid. I respect your creativity, I think. In an attempt to find the germaneness between the two, I googled the song text. Surely the words will tie it all together... Unfortunately, the song is too new for your devoted Monsters to collage a YouTube video. Alas, I will wait.

Ms. Miley... You, my dear, went from wearing a Chuck E.Cheese costume to a pole dancer. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, you doggie-styled with Beatlejuice. And can I assume you were at a baseball game before you arrived? It's the only place I can think of to get a Fan Finger. I don't even know where to begin with that whole thing. I think Will Smith and his kids pretty much sum it up...

'Nuff said.

Mr. Justin - Thank you SO MUCH for saving the face of America. Seriously. You brought class to a show that would have gone down in history as Trashity-trash.

My sister watched Justin in awe last night. She all but whispered, "Oh my God, it's all of them." The lights were off, but I'm sure she had tears in her eyes. And then came my question... All of who? Who are they? Oh the shame. To have never seen the SNL Justin/Jimmy video Cock In A Box was tolerable for her, but to not know who these apparent Gods were, unfathomable. So I googled. Well, they can't be THAT famous, I found nothing but plumbing web sites for In-Sink.

I do have one question for Mr. Timberlake. Why was Miss Piggy one of your back up dancers? Did you owe Kermit a huge favor? If so, your debt is paid.