Where in the World is Liz Gaiser?

I’ll be the first to admidt that I am geographically challenged. In other words, I usually don’t know where the hell I am. In my defense, I believe that if Uwe wasn’t so language impaired, I might have a better idea of where I am going. Take, for example, the time Uwe and I were driving up through Italy on our way back to Germany. He asks me if I would like to stop and see Venedig. I ask him where it is. Is it nice?
“Well,” he says, “I suppose it is okay. Perhaps a little bit smelly, but people like to go there. I do not have to see it again. I have seen it. You must take a boat to see it.”
“So, it’s an island, this Venedig?” I ask, not wanting to see a boat EVER again after spending hours on a rocking ferry throwing up.
“No, it is a town, or city, and the busses are boats.”
I am confused. And he doesn’t seem at all interested in stopping, but we do anyways.
And we take the boat/bus into “town”. And he is pointing, and telling me, “And that is a nice bridge people like to take photos of. It has been in movies.”
And I STILL don’t really know where I am until we get off the boat-bus and go past a post card stand with post cards that read Venice. And I stopped and yelled, “Oh My God, I’m in Venice! We are in VENICE? You didn’t tell me this was VENICE!”

And over the years, unless you are talking about the technical aspects of gear grinding. Uwe’s communication skills haven’t improved - He was very excited to be taking us all to Nee-A-Gara Felle. My limited German translated “Felle” to mean either animal skins, or trapping. And Nee-A-Gara, well it sounds a bit Indian. Perhaps we are going to see something in Letchworth State Park. Maybe up near the Mary Jemison Indian cabins. Or, Maybe when I get to Niagara Falls, I will figure it out by myself - without the help of a post card.

Now, the next one happened just a few days ago. Uwe was in India on a business trip. And after a certain number of years of marriage (I don’t know how many) you kind of stop listening. Oh, not all together, you kind-a-sorta listen. Like when the kids come in and out of the room while your on the computer to tell you things.
-Mom, Paddy hit me. --- Ah huh. Okay.
-Mom, lunch is burning ---Okay, that’s nice.
So when Uwe calls and tells me he’s going to see a nice building on the last day of his trip, I say. “Oh, that will be nice.“ (I like to give him complete sentences rather than the standard Ah huh.. Makes it seem like I‘m paying attention.)
And he comes home with souvenir T-shirts for all the kids from the Taj Mahal.
The Taj-F’en-Mahal!
And I’m like - “You said you were going to a castle or something…” And then he says, “You know this Taj Mahal?”
What does he think, I’m stupid or something?
The he tells me that he did mention it was supposed to be one of the “Welt Wunder”.
That must have been one of my shorter “aahh” replies.

I suppose his next trip to China he will stop to see that long stone hedge people make such a fuss about. And him being German, He’ll “wander” the damn thing all the way to the end.